The Clamb

Taken from The Clamb inner jacket THE CLAMB is a true, gripping, and gag-provoking account of the worst kind of disaster in the history of Maine. On January 3, 1998, two white-trashy looking expeditionaries headed by a great stash attempted to climb one the highest mountains in Maine, but things went terribly wrong. Un-crowded conditions […]

Old Man Of The Mountain Dies

Saturday, May 3, 2003  Franconia Notch, New Hampshire      The constant thrashing of the Bigtop’s nylon walls from the relentless wind combined with the ripping staccato of McAnus’ amazingly loud snoring was annoying Vincentoli. He couldn’t take it any more. The sound of four feet of unzipping zipper followed by a blast of cold air awoke […]

Fake Ascent, an HAE Interview

FAKE ASCENT A Rare Interview with Half Ass Expeditions by Fredulous Q Montgomerly, Outhouse Magazine Editor After a lifetime of winter survival hiking, Vincentoli Blanteev made it to the top of Bigelow Mountain in January. What he and the rest of the terra-forming HAE team would discover in the years to come, however, is that […]

HAE Boots On Mt Carrigan

A Personal Account of the 1996-1997 Mt. Carrigan, New Hampshire Expedition by Vincentoli Blanteev, your cybah-spaced mountain correspondent.      Perched high in the southern Pemigewasset Wilderness, the 4680 ft. summit of Mt. Carrigian looks out over a watershed of pristine flowing mountain rivers and streams. The area is popular with summer backpackers and day hikers, but […]

Maine Vacationland

1995-1996 Bemis Mountain, Maine Expedition by Vincentoli Blanteev, your cybah-spaced mountain correspondent.      Showing up at Timur ‘s place on December 26, Vincentoli is in agreement with Timur that this years destination should be Maine….again. But they can’t quite figure out where to go. “Dang, we’ve been just about everywhere,” Vincentoli says half-truthfully. Short of spending […]

When Old Man Winter Meets Old Speck

A Synopsis of the ill fated HAE Old Speck Expedition by Vincentoli Blanteev, your cybah-spaced mountain correspondent “…absolutely un *#$&ing! believable!”….Marcus Needlemeyer “Woah…utterly the pure of the most pure survival!”…Timur Novasch “like what happened to you guys?”…Bruce McAnus “…an epic of survival!”…Vincentoli Blanteev TEMP: -40 BELOW  …yo… is that Celsius or Fahrenheit? WIND: 40 MPH  …blowin’ smoke SUPPLIES: […]

Into Boned Stares

An Account of the 1992-1993 Mt. Bigelow, Maine expedition by Vincentoli Blanteev, your cybah-spaced mountain correspondent. Haunting memories show themselves on the faces of HAE as the drive up to Mt. Bigelow ends at the AT parking lot. But after three consecutive years of rain the group is desperate for snow. Still above normal temperatures […]

Too Much Time On Our Hands

A Personal account of the 1991-1992 Mt. Moosilauke, New Hampshire expediition by Vincentoli Blanteev, your cybah-spaced mountain correspondent. Nobody was hoping for a repeat of last year and that was exactly what was served up by NH. Sitting around comfortably, i.e that means at home before that expedition, the group discussed the prospects for adventure. […]